Post by EmberRoze on Nov 13, 2008 22:44:38 GMT -6
Prolougue
I should have known the moment when I met Mathias, when I saw the glimmer of something not exactly human in his eyes, that all was lost for me. I should have known to not get involved with him. When I think back now, there was always a faint voice in the back of my mind that was screaming for me to run while I still had the chance. Some part of me always knew exactly what he was. If I’d listened to it, perhaps I might still have some reminiscent scrap of the being I once was.
That was the thing with Mathias, though. He silenced your worries, he took away your cares, and he stole away your inhibitions. Once he decided you were his, he never let go. He wanted everything that had to do with you, he wanted your thoughts, your dreams. . . He wanted everything you had to offer. After a while, you would give him everything, and gladly.
He decided he wanted me that cold winter’s day when I was so lost, and he decided he would let nothing interfere with his plans to have me. Because of that determination, I lost my home, I lost my family, and I even I lost my life. I have nothing to me but my name now, and yet I don’t regret a moment of it. For a while, I was close enough to Nirvana to reach out my fingertips and brush the entryway. For a moment, I felt like a goddess.
His presence is always around me, like a favorite blanket on a cold night. I still feel an emptiness that cannot be filled by anyone but him. I always will, but despite my many prayers and my fervent wishes, he will never appear again. He is gone, nor more than dust, forever lost to the breezes of the world he from which he so long wished to escape.
I am truly alone now. I tire of wandering.
Above all, I am thirsty.
I should have known the moment when I met Mathias, when I saw the glimmer of something not exactly human in his eyes, that all was lost for me. I should have known to not get involved with him. When I think back now, there was always a faint voice in the back of my mind that was screaming for me to run while I still had the chance. Some part of me always knew exactly what he was. If I’d listened to it, perhaps I might still have some reminiscent scrap of the being I once was.
That was the thing with Mathias, though. He silenced your worries, he took away your cares, and he stole away your inhibitions. Once he decided you were his, he never let go. He wanted everything that had to do with you, he wanted your thoughts, your dreams. . . He wanted everything you had to offer. After a while, you would give him everything, and gladly.
He decided he wanted me that cold winter’s day when I was so lost, and he decided he would let nothing interfere with his plans to have me. Because of that determination, I lost my home, I lost my family, and I even I lost my life. I have nothing to me but my name now, and yet I don’t regret a moment of it. For a while, I was close enough to Nirvana to reach out my fingertips and brush the entryway. For a moment, I felt like a goddess.
His presence is always around me, like a favorite blanket on a cold night. I still feel an emptiness that cannot be filled by anyone but him. I always will, but despite my many prayers and my fervent wishes, he will never appear again. He is gone, nor more than dust, forever lost to the breezes of the world he from which he so long wished to escape.
I am truly alone now. I tire of wandering.
Above all, I am thirsty.